


Just A Little Bit Gay

by dokidoki_to_kurakura



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Aged-Up Character(s), Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Drinking, Jearmin Secret Santa 2015, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 06:00:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,435
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5697655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dokidoki_to_kurakura/pseuds/dokidoki_to_kurakura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This was written for the Jearmin Secret Santa 2015 for superbilliam. Jean gets suckered into pretending to be Armin's boyfriend for the night.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Just A Little Bit Gay

**Author's Note:**

> So I started writing this massive Jearmin piece for Secret Santa that got totally out of hand, so I took the American college age/early 2000s-era Jean, Eren and Armin I was working with and moved them into this one piece. I hope Jean doesn't come off as too much of a douche. I felt bad for making Erwin the evil Ex-Boyfriend as I love his character to pieces, but he fit well as a sort of Anti-Jean, if you will. 
> 
> Thank you everyone for your patience!! I know this was super late and I kept getting sick and it was all just a huge mess. Merry Christmas!
> 
> 12/01/2016: Small edits for grammar and to give Armin a personality.

A word of advice: Never, under any circumstances, ask Eren Yeager to do you a favour. You could be on fire and only his piss will put out the flame-- REFUSE. It's not worth it. Better to die in dignity without owing Yeager a favour. Otherwise you will be asked to play boyfriend of Eren's childhood friend at some posh bar one night because her big bad ex-boyfriend is present and she previously lied about being in a relationship. And don't be fooled by the picture on his phone. Because the girl is cute: she's short and waif-like with messy bleach blond hair down to her shoulders and a cheeky grin. Even with the lip ring and plugs in her ears and glasses like Elvis Costello-- she's got that same sort of metal/punk/nerd/thrift store aesthetic like Eren-- she is really fucking cute. Out of your league cute. But don't be fooled-- because if you say yes, and ignore the fact that Eren is avoiding using gendered pronouns at all costs, you may just have offered to pretend to be some dude's boyfriend for the night. 

It's the grand opening of a sleek martini bar off campus and Armin's ex-boyfriend is the owner. There's valet parking in front, but being a poor student, I drive around for twenty minutes to find a free parking spot and arrive late. The bar is poorly lit and is full of dark wood, rich leather couches and leather trimmed barstools that surround small, high tables. It's larger than it looks from the outside-- there's a live jazz band playing somewhere but I can't seem to find them through the thick and heavily cologned crowd. Thankfully, Armin and Eren are easy to spot. Being in a college town in the early 2000s, I fit in well in the straight-white-guy-on-a-date uniform of dark jeans, brown leather shoes, and a button down shirt. Armin and Eren, however, look incredibly out of place -- Eren is inexplicably dressed like Billie Joe Armstrong in a short sleeve black button down, white tie, eyeliner and faux hawk. Armin wears skinny jeans, chucks, a v-neck and what looks like my grandpa's cardigan about twenty sizes too big. The T-shirt is white and tight and makes obvious fact that Armin is most definitely male. I catch Eren's eye first and make my way over to their table.

"Hee-eey, horseface!" 

"Don't horseface me!" I hiss through my teeth. I grab whatever he's drinking and down it. It's straight whiskey and it tastes awful. "You never said Armin was a dude!"

Eren snatches his drink back. "I never said Armin was a girl, either."

"Eren, are you fucking kidding me!" Armin smacks Eren on the shoulder. "He's straight??"

Eren holds up his hands defensively. "I thought he was gay! You're a little gay aren't you?"

"What?! What gave you that idea?"

Eren shrugs. "I dunno. You always have such nice shoes."

Armin's face is flushed-- from either tears or alcohol-- and he looks like he wants to crawl under the table and die. I sigh. I would look like a bigoted asshole if I refused to help his friend because he's gay. "Just.. whatever. Buy me a beer. And a shot-- you wanna shot Armin?"

Armin's face is still flushed, but he looks somewhat relieved. "Yeah."

"A beer and two shots." Eren grumbles, but obediently goes to the bar. Armin and I give each other thin, nervous smiles. 

"Sorry, I thought you were a girl. I didn't mean to sound--"

"It's fine," he cuts me off. "I'm just embarrassed." He grips the sleeves of his cardigan in his fists and covers his face. "It's my own fault for lying about having a boyfriend-- this whole thing just got way out of hand."

"My name is Jean, by the way." I offer my hand. "I will be your boyfriend this evening." 

"Armin." He shakes my hand and smiles that cute smile from the picture. "Eren's told me a lot about you."

"Eren has obviously told me absolutely nothing about you."

Armin laughs and gives me a quick crash course in Armin Arlert-ism. He's twenty-two, an International Studies/Marine Biology double major, is childhood friends with Eren, and loves heavy metal and penguins. Eren returns with our drinks before I can ask about the penguins-- it takes two trips to get the two beers, two pink mixed drinks, and five shots on the table. "The line was long so I just got you guys double." He does a shot, coughing a bit. "I'm going to see if I can find Mikasa."

"Text me if you see Erwin," says Armin and Eren does a funny sort of military salute before disappearing into the crowd. 

We clink glasses and do our shots. Armin's drinking vodka and cranberries, so he offers me is second shot so I can catch up. I feel a bit nervous standing alone with Armin, although I'm not sure why. I don't really know how to look boyfriend-ish so I just lean into the table and stand close enough to him so that our shoulders touch. The silence between us is uncomfortable and we're both drinking too quickly. 

I've already started my second beer before I manage to say something. "So Armin, what's the story with this ex-boyfriend? Erwin, is it? Why is it so important he thinks you've got a boyfriend?"

"Oh he just--" Armin thinks a moment, worrying his lip ring with his tongue, turning it round and round. "I guess he plays on my low self-esteem. I feel stupid for falling for it. I know in my head that being single is not proof that I'm unwanted. Or unfuckable. But..."

"No, I get it." I feel strangly relieved at Armin's easy confession and relax slightly. I myself have had exactly one girlfriend my scant 23 years in life and know these put downs well. "You start to think that you've left the only person who could ever love you. Or tolerate you. And there's something wrong with you when everyone else in the world is paired up."

"Exactly! And he was my first serious boyfriend. My only serious boyfriend." Armin continues to worry his lip ring, then takes a sip from the long black straw of his drink, flicks his ring with his pink tongue, then back to his drink. It's mesmerizing to watch. 

"What?" He caught me staring.

"Hm?" I shake my head clear. 

"You were staring at me just now."

"Was I? Sorry, I didn't mean to." I pretend to look around the club. "I was just thinking about your lip ring."

"Yeah?" His little pink tongue flicked it again, probably unconsciously, but for some reason it gives me this strange feeling it the bottom of my stomach. I finish my second beer too quickly. 

Armin's phone goes off and he flips it open to read a text. "Shit, Eren's texted that Erwin's coming this way. "

Even through the poor lighting, I could tell that Armin's face paled. He suddenly throws back the rest of his drink, ignoring the straw and ice colliding with his face as he practically tipped the glass upside down in haste. He wipes his face with his sleeve and pulls out of his pocket a crumpled ten dollar bill which he crammed in my hand. "I'm gonna say 'hi' to him. Could you buy me another drink and a beer for yourself, then come meet me?"

"Yeah, no problem." I take the money and our empty glasses. I don't feel the effects of the alcohol until I'm standing in line and catching myself swaying slightly without the support of the table and Armin's shoulder. 

I watch Erwin and the back of Armin's head as the bartender makes our drinks. Why Eren thought I would be a good substitute boyfriend against this guy is anybody's guess. He's over six foot tall and built like line backer. He has the chiselled jaw and arrogant look of a Greek marbled statue. Poor Armin must have been split in half having sex with that guy. What was little Armin with his piercings and grandpa sweater doing with a guy who was clearly in his thirties with a 401K and a mortgage anyway? How the hell could I beat this guy? His furniture is probably made of real wood. I bet he doesn't say a prayer every time he swipes his debit card at the end of the month. I take a mighty swig of beer, add another shot to my order, and close my eyes and take a deep breath. Alright Jean, you can do this. Armin's cute. He has a penis, but he's cute. You can do this. Time to get gay.

"ARMIN! THERE YOU ARE!" Armin jumps a foot at my voice and I throw my arm around him and planted what was supposed to be a kiss on the cheek, but he moves his head suddenly so it ends up being mostly his left nostril. "I have your drink!"

"Thanks," he says, taking the drink and leaning into me slightly. I kept my arm around Armin, pulling him close, and smile at Erwin. "Hello, I'm Armin's current boyfriend, Jean."

Erwin, even larger and more intimidating close up, offers me his titanic hand. "Hello John, I'm Erwin."

"It's Jean actually." I shake his hand, perhaps clenching it too tightly, but I'm feeling bold with the extra alcohol. "It's French."

He gives a warm, very adult smile that screams 'I am better than you.' "My apologies, Gene."

I open my mouth to correct this asshole, but Armin interrupts me. "Erwin is also a lawyer! He worked on the case with that French au pair that got murdered." 

"Oh, it must be satisfying to put bad guys behind bars."

"Actually, I got him acquitted."

"Oh!" I don't know what to say to that so I take a swig of beer. "Neat." 

"Armin tells me you're an artist." He says artist as though it's a hilarious and made up profession, like I declared myself a wizard or a Jedi.

"Yes, I write and draw my own comic online." I also work at Home Depot full time for the health insurance, but he doesn't need to know that. "I've even been featured on College Humor." This is technically true. It was incorrectly sourced and in an post celebrating binge drinking, but it was my comic and a lot of people saw it.

"I see." He swills the ice in his fancy one ingredient drink with his pinkie finger like he's a James Bond villain. "I'm not familiar with College Humor." 

"No, I'm not surprised." I try to sound young and casual, but it comes out like I'm a kid berating an adult for not knowing the difference between Digimon and Pokemon. 

Armin mercifully interrupts. "Well, Jean and I have got to get going. The bar is lovely, Erwin, you should be very proud."

"Oh?" Erwin raises a thick blond eyebrow. "It's only 10:30. Where are you off too next?"

"Just home, you know." Armin blushes and I can tell he's struggling a bit. "Jean and I are gonna, uh..."

"Rock the kasbah." I finish lamely. This should have been the moment that realise I'm drunk and should probably stop talking, but I ignore my own warnings and keep going. "I just can't get enough of this kid, here." I remove my arm from his shoulder and give that blond mop of his a noogie. "I just love this kid's... ass."

"Okay, Jean..." I know Armin's trying to stop me from saying anything further, but alcohol wins and my mouth keeps going. 

"And his cock. Boy, that's good cock. But, you know, why am I telling you this? You know."

"He knows, Jean."

"You know, right?" I give Erwin a friendly smack on the shoulder. His jaw twitches and I can practically get frostbite from his glare. 

"Jean and I have got to go, uh, do that, so..." Armin grasps my hand and begins to pull me away. "Thank you for inviting us, Erwin."

"It was good to see you, Armin. Nice to meet you, Gene."

"It's JEAN. It's FRENCH!"

My voice is thankfully lost in the crowd as Armin has spun me around and has both hands pressed against my back with all his 120 pounds pushing me towards the nearest emergency exit. The cold night air smacks me in the face and Armin smacks the back of my head. 

"Oh my GOD, Jean!"

"I. Am. So. Sorry!" I blurt out, spinning around to face him and grasp his wrists with my hands, yanking them with each syllable. "I panicked and my mouth kept going and I'm just so sorry!" 

Thankfully, Armin is laughing. "I can't believe you said that!" 

We run into the parking lot, giggling madly and drunkenly, like we had just pulled the world's best prank. When we're far enough away from the building, I wrap my arms around Armin's thin body and jump up and down. "He's so OLD! And BIG! You poor thing!"

"I know, I know, but at the time..." Armin's giggles then groans. "Okay Jean, stop jumping or I'm seriously going to blow chunks."

Over Armin's shoulder I catch Erwin's eye as he emerges from the same emergency exit we just ran out of. Filled with bravado that only comes with three Miller Lights, three shots and two fingers of whiskey, I grasp Armin's jaw with both my hands and push my lips against his. 

For some reason I thought kissing a guy would somehow be inherently different than kissing a girl, but it's soft and warm and when he wraps his thin arms around my waist it gives me a strange feeling in the bottom of my stomach. I tilt his head and sneak my tongue in and suddenly I've pushed him against a parked car and we are balls to the walls making out. I've forgotten Erwin by the time I've pulled away for air. Armin is breathing heavily and his chin is red from my stubble. 

We look at each other and he laughs nervously as I tuck an errant blond hair behind Armin's ear. "I think Eren was right." I say, capturing his lips once, twice, three times, then kissing his jaw, his neck, his earlobe. His eyes are closed and his lips slightly parted and I can't get over how pretty he is and how much I actually genuinely want him.

"Right about what?" Armin murmurs as he buries his face in my neck.

"I might just be a little bit gay."


End file.
